lonely.....i'm mr lonely,
i have nobody,
for my owwnnn.....
i'm so lonely, i'm mr lonely,
i have nobody,
for my owwnnn.......

Bobby Vinton..60'

huh..what a night..aku tak tau la..ape nak jadi, tah le..ikutkan hati mmg sakit..tp tah le..its seem like dekat depan ko macam byk gile masalah..sampai kan ko rasa macam down gile babi la, sebab ko asyik duk pikir macammana nak settle kan masalah ko tu..sampai satu masa ..yg ko malas nak amik peduli..tp tak boleh nak lepas tgn macam tuh ajer..a bit selfish doh..but this is what i think..pegi mampus la sama org ape yg nak diorang pikir ttg diri kita..it's not there problems...aku tau..dgn cakap macam ni, secara tak langsung aku dah mengaku kalah sebelum berjuang and for those fucker out there sure have lighten their so called 'victory cigar'..bullshit man..dunno la..but the more i think of it, the more i fell like i'm a stupid person to be...heh..aku adalah aku..so who will give a damn??..tak puas hati??yeah right..cakap belakang belakang..bile tanya secara serius, serius la jawab..jgn buang masa aku, macam ni...it's a waste of time, u know..to wait..and wait..and wait..sampai ko rasa jelek tgk muka aku pun aku sanggup tunggu, but why??aku pun tak leh nak jawab, maybe because of my kekuatan hati? or aku punya ego? or aku punya pasal la aku nak tunggu ko...but jgn sampai aku fedup asyik duk tanya soklan yg sama tiap tiap kali...ko pun fed up..apetah lagi aku..even tanya la sesapa..kalau dier asyik nak cakap mende sama tiap tiap ari pastu dapat jawapan 'sorry, no komen'.....macam mana??every person know it's limits, and i know mine because it's just ring a bell a few minutes ago..time main kita main la, time gurau , gurau, but when it come to .............kena la sirius ......yeah right..lough is the best medicine...i try it, okay, but just for a few day, maybe weeks and even better month...but when it come to a lonely time alone...u just cannot prevent ur mind to keep wandering off and play with ur so called historical moment.....trust me..i got a LOT of lonely time while i was onboard ship...nothing to do..argh..just wandering off, with a peaking of the devil to just get a puff or two...and it getting bigger and longer and sadly , yes...awfull...........

right or wrong!!??

it's not always easy to do the right things, like putting someone else feelings first for a change...even it will go against what do you realy want...but of course there still always somethings turn out incredibly right...
even if you do the right things,there is no guarantee is will turn out the right way,
because even a somethings harmless like a not so funny joke, could ending up bitting you up in the ass...hehe..really man, it's really hurts.... trust me!

aku tension lagi..............bengang nyer.................hantuk kepala hantuk kepala.................bengang sungguh la............apesal aku asyik nak bengang je nih...............baik naik kapal la...............duk darat menyakitkan hati ajer......sakit mata......sakit telinga............ahhhh lari nak kapal lagi best....duk sorang sorang tengah laut tuh.takder sape saper yg nyakit kan hati............argh.bengang nyer..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!